I have no idea why. The condo was dead quiet. Maybe that was the problem…no crazy old men warning all of Toronto about the approaching end of the world from the street below…no transports, no beeping…no rowdy drunks. Not even the usual steady hum of the wind blowing against the windows.
Nadda
How the hell is anyone supposed to sleep like that?
Around 4:30AM I gave up the fight to fall back to sleep and got up.
This is how a mildly rehtarded chick functions when she sees the front end of the wee hours as opposed to the back end…
I made my bed in the dark….turned on lamp…put load of laundry in…washed face…examined face…decided on mud mask…applied said mud mask…went to kitchen…filled kettle with water and plugged in…poured bowl of Special K…filled sink with hot water and Mr. Clean (Febreeze vanilla lavender scent..lovely) and wiped off counters, sink, stove…curse at own melonheadness…turned ON kettle…drained sink, rinsed cloth, got out tea cup and tea…check face in mirrors, grimace at ugly green woman looking back…pour milk in cereal and eat…pour boiled water in mug and add milk…bowl and spoon in dishwasher..off to bathroom…remove mask…sip tea.
And then my 5AM alarm hollered at me from beside my bed. Normally I have a half hour of snoozing before I get up. Sigh
Somehow the extra hour didn’t help me get out of the condo any earlier. And the full view of my hair provided by the surrounding mirrors in the elevator proved that no amount of time will fix permanent bed head.
It’s been a long day. And it’s only 1:20.
So yesterday Work Sista and I were wickedly nutritious…going to the nearest Metro to pick up freshly made salads for lunch. In fact..I was damned good all day…peanut butter and toast for breaky…salad for lunch…and errr…okay, 2 Crown and Sprite and 4 chocolates for dinner..well hells bells that’s brilliant for me!
On the way back from the Metro, we drove by a Foonie Store. Yes that's right FOONIE, with an 'F'.
Gawd help me, says you, what is the woman on about now?
Well lemme explain.
They used to be Dollar Stores. You could tell by the big ole green symbol of a coin with a 1 in the middle. Then came the Toonie stores…with the green coin symbol that had a 2 in the middle. Now there are Foonie stores. Which is what I suspect we slightly challenged Canadians would call a $5 coin if we had one…and according to the big ass green symbol of a coin with the 5 in the middle that proudly glowed from the store front …
You can’t make this shit up. People are morons…yawn….
What the bloody hell was I talking about…
Oh yeah…today’s diet, compared to yesterday’s diet. Which even by MY standards was bad.
I had that Special K at 4:30AM, a sausage and egg muffin thing from the garbage truck at 7:30, a donut at 9…another donut at 11.
And I’m not hungry. Just trying to stay afreakinwake.
I had the rest of my salad for lunch. And some Wheat Thins. And a Fuze. Which by the way is an awesome vitamin drink with only 15 calories. People like me are so careful about what they drink you know.
Meh
So it’s 1:30 and I have (yes, am counting on my fingers) 3 and a half hours to go before I have to find my way home. Gawd help any stupid pedestrians that attempt to cross the street in front of me when I get the advanced left turn onto Wellington.
Hey…try driving right up to those arsepicks and laying on the horn when they do that. They jump straight up in the air…fun times!
And I have a date tonight. A real one. Not just a ‘let’s meet for a drink’..but an actual dinner.
Poor guy.
By that time, I should be over-tired.
Yeah…just let that sink in for a minute….
Alone with me, when I’m overtired.
MUAHAHAHAAAA
Oh yeah...lack of sleep, nutrition and exercise.
New Year's resolution my ass....pffft....woosies.
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