You know that chick in the horror movies that hears a noise and goes to investigate?
Not me.
Hell no...my ass is outta there!
So now there's the G-20 coming up, here in Toronto.
We'll be hosting the heads of the World Bank, the International Monetary Fund, the Financial Stability Board, the Organization for Economic Cooperation and Development, the International Labour Organization, the World Trade Organization and the United Nations.
The G-20 includes 19 countries – Argentina, Australia, Brazil, Canada, China, France, Germany, India, Indonesia, Italy, Japan, Mexico, Russia, Saudi Arabia, South Africa, Republic of Korea, Turkey, United Kingdom, United States of America – and the European Union.
That there's some important folk.
They've decided to host this little tea party right downtown...the lake a couple blocks away...surrounded by our financial district, the Roger's Centre...the CN Tower.
And my building. My home. Me casa.
yee frickin haw
We're flying in the Canadian Armed Forces, the RCMP, local police. We're building walls...sticking snipers on buildings, putting boats on the lake... so I should feel safe, right?
Fuck that shit
(sorry mom)
Maybe 911 is still fresh in my mind...maybe I'm watching too much TV...I dunno
But aside from the fact that I'll need special security clearance just to WALK home (can't drive, streets closed) ... aside from the fact that this is basically a huge pain in my rump...
I simply have no faith in my government. On any level.
First off, I'm amused that we are spending money we haven't got in order to host a summit on economics.
Secondly, we've chosen a location that's nearly impossible to secure and offers a gazillion opportunities for terrorists to infiltrate and reak havoc. Let's face it, anyone with a political agenda had plenty of heads up should they have decided to actually move in to the area a month ago, so that they are already here with access to do as they please ...the frickin boneheads can't even keep a secret. They could be here already.. they could attack from the water.. the sky...the damned trains.... the underground.... Shitballs almighty, there could be bombs already planted in all the underground paths for all we know...
I just have this image of the Marx Brothers doling out directions to the men and women expected to keep everyone, and everything safe.
And Pinky and the Brain sitting in a cave somewhere, laughing maniacally as they rub there hands together.
Bottom line...
Call me paranoid, call me chicken, call me a traitor...I don't feel safe..and I'm getting the heck outta dodge until it's over!
Fuggedaboutit!
Showing posts with label Toronto. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Toronto. Show all posts
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Sunday, April 18, 2010
A Date With Two Young Men
I don't know what normal is for most mothers, but normal for me has become a series of moments that inspire feelings ranging from pride to utter horror.
No bloody wonder I'm nuts.
Saturday morning I whizzed through Toronto traffic and made the trip down to the metropolis of Bealton to pick up the boys.
(whizzed through Toronto....metropolis of Bealton...heh, heh, heh...I kill me!)
I reached my destination at 9AM and found them in their pajamas watching cartoons. Red had a mouthful of green 'breakfast' liquorice.
Sigh
I wanted to take them shopping before ball hockey at noon, so I began the process of getting them away from the TV and dressed immediately. Promises of new hoodies from the cool store and a trip to the sports store sparked interest momentarily, but its pretty hard to compete with the Madagascar penguins.
And they had the Nerf launchers out too. I got shot in the ass while hugging the Saminator.
Game on.
Red handed me my own weapon of mass destruction and skipped over to his hidden stash of 'bullets' so that I could defend myself. It's only fair. I pressed the yellow foam bullet into the barrel, cocked that bad boy and shot Red in the belly. He fell dramatically to the floor with a giggle.
I reloaded and aimed at Saminator...who's eyes were glued, unblinking, at the large screen...mouth slightly open.
I shot..and the little rubber end hit young Homer in the neck, thwap, and stuck. That was cool. Saminator laughed as he yanked it off.
At least I had his attention.
Eventually the war game ended, the boys were dressed and we were on our way to the stores. They were somewhat behaved as we made our purchases (after all..it was all for them), and we decided to go to Boston Pizza to visit The Short One and have a snack (and COFFEE) before ball hockey.
The boys bolted into the restaurant, barely managing to remain in the "To Be Seated" zone when I asked them to hold up. I need to get their brakes checked.
Their sister greeted us with a big beautiful smile and the boys were off in two shakes to pick a booth. We were in one when Saminator decided to run into another one. I just gave him 'the look' and asked him to get back here. The Short One whispered that someone from their head office was there so she'd have to be very formal. I shook my head in understanding and said a quick prayer that the boys would leave the restaurant in the same condition it was in when we arrived.
Coats off, Red beside me and Saminator across from me, we ordered a snack and drinks. We managed to get through the half hour with only a few requests to Red to get out from under the table, and a few looks at the Saminator when he stood up to fire his TecDeck across the wall. That's a successful restaurant trip.
Then it was time for ball hockey.
I'm going to save you the play by play simply because there were too many wicked moments to count! Saminator started the game by swooping over to the ball and running it past the other teams' defense to score with a cool little toss into the top corner.
Oh yeah...
He then moved back to defense, later taking the goalie position where he didn't actually have much action.
Cuz the RedMan was on frickin fire.
SIX goals ma friends. SIX!!
The other team didn't have a chance as Red whipped the ball away from frantic players and maneuvered in, around, and through the other players until he got to the net where he'd fire in a shot. After every goal he'd come running down the arena to get a fist five and helmet tap from his grinning mom.
My favourite play happened at the net. He actually faked a shot bringing the goalie diving down to block a corner, then Red calmly pulled the ball back and shot over the grounded goaltender.
Like...where does the dude come up with that stuff?
My heart just thumps reliving the moment. Kid rocks.
I drove back to Toronto to the sound of snoring in the back seat.
An hour after arrival, the kids decided they were hungry. Now. It was 4:00.
Time for our date.
Ever been to The Spaghetti Factory on Front Street? If you haven't, go! Highly recommended! Lots of interesting decor, food is fantastic and you don't feel financially raped when the bill comes. It's ahhhhite!
The hostess led us through the restaurant to our table. I pulled the chairs out for the boys and pushed them back in for them. The floors are covered with cushiony carpet that makes sliding chairs impossible...
They were each given 5 crayons bundled together with an elastic. An elastic.
Sigh
We ordered chocolate milks and coke and discussed menu options as the boys untied their crayons and began working away at the paper place mats. Spaghetti and meatballs all around. Bonus!
Chocolate milk arrived in glasses with two straws.
'Please don't blow bubbles.'
'No...don't slurp.'
'You are not a walrus..please take the straws out of your mouth.'
Eventually I just took their milk away and they returned to colouring, briefly.
'yes, you have a big foot, now get that big floppy thing off the table.'
'Don't lean back in your chair, it's gonna go over.'
'No, really, it'll go over. Sit properly.'
Dinner arrived and was enjoyed. Butcha gotta have dessert.
Ice cream for everyone!
Sweet...
Leftover spaghetti cleared away the boys had to entertain themselves. And if you take an elastic, and pull it between crayons like this....
'Put the elastic down before it flies off and hits someone.'
Two little lightbulbs appear just over the horns on two little heads.
The 'Ibroughtyouintotheworldandicantakeyouout Look' appears and the light from the light bulb momentarily dims.
The elastic turned into handcuffs. They discovered they could handcuff themselves with wrists in front or behind. Red explained he was going to jail.
'For what?' Says me
'I was bad.' Says him
'What did you do?' Says me
'I stole something.' Says him
'Oh dear, what did you steal?' Says me
'Popsicles.' Says him
It's a tough world folks.
Handcuffs got boring and they tried pulling the elastics back between the crayons..(give them credit for not giving up easily) but their mother was on to them.
Saminator though it would make a nice necklace but that didn't fly either.
Who was the brilliant mind that thought that would be a good plan? Bundling crayons with an elastic and giving them to kids at a busy restaurant?
In hindsight I should have let 'em have at at it, just so I could shrug at the distraught staff and tell them they shouldn't hand out elastics to kids. I am kind of curious just what the little monkeys would have come up with, given the freedom to explore the possibilities...
Restaurant still standing if you'd like to check it out :)
We were home by 6:30, played a bit, bathed, and watched a movie. We were all in bed by 8:30.
Not terribly surprising.
It was a good day though :) And I am proud of those kids...despite the moments of shock and horror.
No bloody wonder I'm nuts.
Saturday morning I whizzed through Toronto traffic and made the trip down to the metropolis of Bealton to pick up the boys.
(whizzed through Toronto....metropolis of Bealton...heh, heh, heh...I kill me!)
I reached my destination at 9AM and found them in their pajamas watching cartoons. Red had a mouthful of green 'breakfast' liquorice.
Sigh
I wanted to take them shopping before ball hockey at noon, so I began the process of getting them away from the TV and dressed immediately. Promises of new hoodies from the cool store and a trip to the sports store sparked interest momentarily, but its pretty hard to compete with the Madagascar penguins.
And they had the Nerf launchers out too. I got shot in the ass while hugging the Saminator.
Game on.
Red handed me my own weapon of mass destruction and skipped over to his hidden stash of 'bullets' so that I could defend myself. It's only fair. I pressed the yellow foam bullet into the barrel, cocked that bad boy and shot Red in the belly. He fell dramatically to the floor with a giggle.
I reloaded and aimed at Saminator...who's eyes were glued, unblinking, at the large screen...mouth slightly open.
I shot..and the little rubber end hit young Homer in the neck, thwap, and stuck. That was cool. Saminator laughed as he yanked it off.
At least I had his attention.
Eventually the war game ended, the boys were dressed and we were on our way to the stores. They were somewhat behaved as we made our purchases (after all..it was all for them), and we decided to go to Boston Pizza to visit The Short One and have a snack (and COFFEE) before ball hockey.
The boys bolted into the restaurant, barely managing to remain in the "To Be Seated" zone when I asked them to hold up. I need to get their brakes checked.
Their sister greeted us with a big beautiful smile and the boys were off in two shakes to pick a booth. We were in one when Saminator decided to run into another one. I just gave him 'the look' and asked him to get back here. The Short One whispered that someone from their head office was there so she'd have to be very formal. I shook my head in understanding and said a quick prayer that the boys would leave the restaurant in the same condition it was in when we arrived.
Coats off, Red beside me and Saminator across from me, we ordered a snack and drinks. We managed to get through the half hour with only a few requests to Red to get out from under the table, and a few looks at the Saminator when he stood up to fire his TecDeck across the wall. That's a successful restaurant trip.
Then it was time for ball hockey.
I'm going to save you the play by play simply because there were too many wicked moments to count! Saminator started the game by swooping over to the ball and running it past the other teams' defense to score with a cool little toss into the top corner.
Oh yeah...
He then moved back to defense, later taking the goalie position where he didn't actually have much action.
Cuz the RedMan was on frickin fire.
SIX goals ma friends. SIX!!
The other team didn't have a chance as Red whipped the ball away from frantic players and maneuvered in, around, and through the other players until he got to the net where he'd fire in a shot. After every goal he'd come running down the arena to get a fist five and helmet tap from his grinning mom.
My favourite play happened at the net. He actually faked a shot bringing the goalie diving down to block a corner, then Red calmly pulled the ball back and shot over the grounded goaltender.
Like...where does the dude come up with that stuff?
My heart just thumps reliving the moment. Kid rocks.
I drove back to Toronto to the sound of snoring in the back seat.
An hour after arrival, the kids decided they were hungry. Now. It was 4:00.
Time for our date.
Ever been to The Spaghetti Factory on Front Street? If you haven't, go! Highly recommended! Lots of interesting decor, food is fantastic and you don't feel financially raped when the bill comes. It's ahhhhite!
The hostess led us through the restaurant to our table. I pulled the chairs out for the boys and pushed them back in for them. The floors are covered with cushiony carpet that makes sliding chairs impossible...
They were each given 5 crayons bundled together with an elastic. An elastic.
Sigh
We ordered chocolate milks and coke and discussed menu options as the boys untied their crayons and began working away at the paper place mats. Spaghetti and meatballs all around. Bonus!
Chocolate milk arrived in glasses with two straws.
'Please don't blow bubbles.'
'No...don't slurp.'
'You are not a walrus..please take the straws out of your mouth.'
Eventually I just took their milk away and they returned to colouring, briefly.
'yes, you have a big foot, now get that big floppy thing off the table.'
'Don't lean back in your chair, it's gonna go over.'
'No, really, it'll go over. Sit properly.'
Dinner arrived and was enjoyed. Butcha gotta have dessert.
Ice cream for everyone!
Sweet...
Leftover spaghetti cleared away the boys had to entertain themselves. And if you take an elastic, and pull it between crayons like this....
'Put the elastic down before it flies off and hits someone.'
Two little lightbulbs appear just over the horns on two little heads.
The 'Ibroughtyouintotheworldandicantakeyouout Look' appears and the light from the light bulb momentarily dims.
The elastic turned into handcuffs. They discovered they could handcuff themselves with wrists in front or behind. Red explained he was going to jail.
'For what?' Says me
'I was bad.' Says him
'What did you do?' Says me
'I stole something.' Says him
'Oh dear, what did you steal?' Says me
'Popsicles.' Says him
It's a tough world folks.
Handcuffs got boring and they tried pulling the elastics back between the crayons..(give them credit for not giving up easily) but their mother was on to them.
Saminator though it would make a nice necklace but that didn't fly either.
Who was the brilliant mind that thought that would be a good plan? Bundling crayons with an elastic and giving them to kids at a busy restaurant?
In hindsight I should have let 'em have at at it, just so I could shrug at the distraught staff and tell them they shouldn't hand out elastics to kids. I am kind of curious just what the little monkeys would have come up with, given the freedom to explore the possibilities...
Ice cream finally arrived, was eaten...bill paid..and we bolted before they discovered anymore fun uses for elastics.
End of date.
Restaurant still standing if you'd like to check it out :)
We were home by 6:30, played a bit, bathed, and watched a movie. We were all in bed by 8:30.
Not terribly surprising.
It was a good day though :) And I am proud of those kids...despite the moments of shock and horror.
Monday, February 15, 2010
Hangin Wichaself Ain't So Bad :)
It's Family Day...which for actual together families might mean doing family type stuff...singin Kumbya or whatever it is they like to do. I can't even spell it. :P Never said I was June Cleaver dudes.
My family is all over the place...I got to hang with my boys Friday, Saturday and Sunday morning...the rest of the weekend is their dad's turn. Joys of split families. The older two are off doing their thing...that's cool. I'm not really high maintenance. Unless I feel like it.
grin
So this Family Day, I'm just hanging out by myself... doin ma ting mon. I got up at 7:30 to send an email to the real estate agent, then went back to bed. Cuz I could.
I got bored though.
So I got up and made myself a bagel and tea...watched a little shitty TV. Does anyone actually watch The View? Yeah...it's not for me.
Went to little girl's room. Large mirror and bright lights did magnificent job of drawing attention to greys growing through the last colour job. So what the hell...I coloured my hair.
Picture me shaking out my locks for you..."it's me only better!"
Yeah okay shut up.
I was bored.
So what does a chick do when she's bored? She goes shopping. And lucky for me, the Eaton's Centre is a 10 minute walk away, if I walk quickly.
But first, one must get dressed. I am after all, trendy Torontonian urbanite now. I have an image to uphold.
Done rolling your eyes yet? The ladies know what I'm on about...you men can bite me.
I went casual urbanite today...skinny jeans, aqua blue oversize T, scarf draped just right, black boots pulled over the jeans. hhhhhottt without trying too hard.
Shaking my locks again.
The best part is that I can't even write this shit without laughing at how lame I am.
Whatevs.
So off I went, walking quickly just because, well, I'm used to walking quickly. Down Wellington, up Bay, across Richmond...and then it happened.
Family Day in Toronto. And all the fucking cousins must be visiting. Rock on! The day just got fun dudes!
Buddy sat cross legged in front of the 7 Eleven with his little empty Timmy cup, lookin' for change. I said "hey" and smiled. He winked and gave me a hey back.
I could hear my brother before I could see him. The voice of a preacher, praising Jesus, warning of the end of the world. The same voice I had heard on several occasions on the street below my condo in the middle of the night. It was about time I got to put a face to the voice. And I did just that. He was magnificent, standing on the steps leading up to City Hall. A big black man, he wore a white night gown, and a multi coloured blanket served as his cape. His arms stretched out over the crowds of people he addressed, and his deep voice rose above the normal city sounds of traffic and chatter. Hiding a smile, I walked past, carefully observing the reaction of the other passersby. Some appeared amused, others scared, and a surprising number completely oblivious. Interesting.
To the mall! And dayam it was packed! Kids, teens, old people, young people...fellow hot Toronto urbanites like myself (yack) but mostly tourists. Apparently this is what some families do on Family Day. So much for Kumbya theory.
I unbuttoned my coat and headed for the bookstore. sigh. I'm sorry..I just have to get the last fucking Twilight book. There I said it. It's out. Y'all know my dirty little secret. I also picked up an exercise DVD. 5 different 1/2 hour workouts. Will see if this one holds my attention for longer than five minutes. Or if it drives me back to wodka and cookies. meh.
I wanted another pair of kickass jeans from the Gap. The 1969 straight cut is like, my favourite jean ever dudes! I am slowly replacing all my old jeans, getting ready for trip to clothing donation bin. Same as the rest of the stuff I never wear. Spring is coming after all. Anyway, I did a bit a clothes shopping, mostly because the gay salesmen were all over me today, no matter which store I went into. It was like a sign for me, and I don't ignore the signs. See, if the salespeople ignore me, I usually don't bother...but a little encouragement, and my credit card comes right out. Magic. Readers in retail pay attention.
I avoided stores with sales...mostly because it was crap on sale and there were too many icky rude people in there and I am not good at being patient. Instant gratification, that's what it's all about boys and girls!
New clothing urges satisfied, I had one last store to hit. Shopper's Drug Mart. I needed eye make up remover. It's like a $10 purchase or something. And I had to line up behind 20 people to pay for it. 20 people and 2 cashiers. Brilliant. But I'm in no hurry today. So I line up and watch, amused as people see the line up and groan. Some put their items down and just leave. Other's get pissy. A few like me could care less. There was the sweetest little guy waiting in line with his mom just ahead of me. He looked about 3, and his mom was buying him one of those little bundles of lollipops. Can you imagine? And he just stayed with her, never said a word other than to point at the odd item in the aisles as we moved closer to the cashiers. I just smiled.
Finished shopping, my pace was decidedly slower as I pointed my boots towards the mall exit. I took the time to watch people in the mall. An old lady rooting through the garbage bin. Two very large men with muscles bulging from beneath their tight sports T's, touching hands briefly and smiling at one another. A group of teenage girls giggling. A father maneuvering an empty stroller through the crowd with one hand and holding a bundled up baby with the other, determined grimace plastered across his face. Wonder where mom was? heh heh heh...atta girl....
I buttoned up my coat as I stepped outside into the cool air. Casually, slowly, I walked past the Preacher, tempted to shout out an amen brother, just to see what he'd say. I wondered where he'd sleep tonight. I strolled past Buddy in front of the 7 Eleven. "Still here eh brother?" I smiled at him "Still here, still here" he said, smiling. I wondered if he had a family.
I stopped in to Tim Horton's for a double double and sauntered home smiling. I giggled when an impatient driver honked at someone taking too long to cross the street. I like honking too. It grows on you.
Just like this city.
Even on Family Day.
My family is all over the place...I got to hang with my boys Friday, Saturday and Sunday morning...the rest of the weekend is their dad's turn. Joys of split families. The older two are off doing their thing...that's cool. I'm not really high maintenance. Unless I feel like it.
grin
So this Family Day, I'm just hanging out by myself... doin ma ting mon. I got up at 7:30 to send an email to the real estate agent, then went back to bed. Cuz I could.
I got bored though.
So I got up and made myself a bagel and tea...watched a little shitty TV. Does anyone actually watch The View? Yeah...it's not for me.
Went to little girl's room. Large mirror and bright lights did magnificent job of drawing attention to greys growing through the last colour job. So what the hell...I coloured my hair.
Picture me shaking out my locks for you..."it's me only better!"
Yeah okay shut up.
I was bored.
So what does a chick do when she's bored? She goes shopping. And lucky for me, the Eaton's Centre is a 10 minute walk away, if I walk quickly.
But first, one must get dressed. I am after all, trendy Torontonian urbanite now. I have an image to uphold.
Done rolling your eyes yet? The ladies know what I'm on about...you men can bite me.
I went casual urbanite today...skinny jeans, aqua blue oversize T, scarf draped just right, black boots pulled over the jeans. hhhhhottt without trying too hard.
Shaking my locks again.
The best part is that I can't even write this shit without laughing at how lame I am.
Whatevs.
So off I went, walking quickly just because, well, I'm used to walking quickly. Down Wellington, up Bay, across Richmond...and then it happened.
Family Day in Toronto. And all the fucking cousins must be visiting. Rock on! The day just got fun dudes!
Buddy sat cross legged in front of the 7 Eleven with his little empty Timmy cup, lookin' for change. I said "hey" and smiled. He winked and gave me a hey back.
I could hear my brother before I could see him. The voice of a preacher, praising Jesus, warning of the end of the world. The same voice I had heard on several occasions on the street below my condo in the middle of the night. It was about time I got to put a face to the voice. And I did just that. He was magnificent, standing on the steps leading up to City Hall. A big black man, he wore a white night gown, and a multi coloured blanket served as his cape. His arms stretched out over the crowds of people he addressed, and his deep voice rose above the normal city sounds of traffic and chatter. Hiding a smile, I walked past, carefully observing the reaction of the other passersby. Some appeared amused, others scared, and a surprising number completely oblivious. Interesting.
To the mall! And dayam it was packed! Kids, teens, old people, young people...fellow hot Toronto urbanites like myself (yack) but mostly tourists. Apparently this is what some families do on Family Day. So much for Kumbya theory.
I unbuttoned my coat and headed for the bookstore. sigh. I'm sorry..I just have to get the last fucking Twilight book. There I said it. It's out. Y'all know my dirty little secret. I also picked up an exercise DVD. 5 different 1/2 hour workouts. Will see if this one holds my attention for longer than five minutes. Or if it drives me back to wodka and cookies. meh.
I wanted another pair of kickass jeans from the Gap. The 1969 straight cut is like, my favourite jean ever dudes! I am slowly replacing all my old jeans, getting ready for trip to clothing donation bin. Same as the rest of the stuff I never wear. Spring is coming after all. Anyway, I did a bit a clothes shopping, mostly because the gay salesmen were all over me today, no matter which store I went into. It was like a sign for me, and I don't ignore the signs. See, if the salespeople ignore me, I usually don't bother...but a little encouragement, and my credit card comes right out. Magic. Readers in retail pay attention.
I avoided stores with sales...mostly because it was crap on sale and there were too many icky rude people in there and I am not good at being patient. Instant gratification, that's what it's all about boys and girls!
New clothing urges satisfied, I had one last store to hit. Shopper's Drug Mart. I needed eye make up remover. It's like a $10 purchase or something. And I had to line up behind 20 people to pay for it. 20 people and 2 cashiers. Brilliant. But I'm in no hurry today. So I line up and watch, amused as people see the line up and groan. Some put their items down and just leave. Other's get pissy. A few like me could care less. There was the sweetest little guy waiting in line with his mom just ahead of me. He looked about 3, and his mom was buying him one of those little bundles of lollipops. Can you imagine? And he just stayed with her, never said a word other than to point at the odd item in the aisles as we moved closer to the cashiers. I just smiled.
Finished shopping, my pace was decidedly slower as I pointed my boots towards the mall exit. I took the time to watch people in the mall. An old lady rooting through the garbage bin. Two very large men with muscles bulging from beneath their tight sports T's, touching hands briefly and smiling at one another. A group of teenage girls giggling. A father maneuvering an empty stroller through the crowd with one hand and holding a bundled up baby with the other, determined grimace plastered across his face. Wonder where mom was? heh heh heh...atta girl....
I buttoned up my coat as I stepped outside into the cool air. Casually, slowly, I walked past the Preacher, tempted to shout out an amen brother, just to see what he'd say. I wondered where he'd sleep tonight. I strolled past Buddy in front of the 7 Eleven. "Still here eh brother?" I smiled at him "Still here, still here" he said, smiling. I wondered if he had a family.
I stopped in to Tim Horton's for a double double and sauntered home smiling. I giggled when an impatient driver honked at someone taking too long to cross the street. I like honking too. It grows on you.
Just like this city.
Even on Family Day.
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