I don't know what normal is for most mothers, but normal for me has become a series of moments that inspire feelings ranging from pride to utter horror.
No bloody wonder I'm nuts.
Saturday morning I whizzed through Toronto traffic and made the trip down to the metropolis of Bealton to pick up the boys.
(whizzed through Toronto....metropolis of Bealton...heh, heh, heh...I kill me!)
I reached my destination at 9AM and found them in their pajamas watching cartoons. Red had a mouthful of green 'breakfast' liquorice.
Sigh
I wanted to take them shopping before ball hockey at noon, so I began the process of getting them away from the TV and dressed immediately. Promises of new hoodies from the cool store and a trip to the sports store sparked interest momentarily, but its pretty hard to compete with the Madagascar penguins.
And they had the Nerf launchers out too. I got shot in the ass while hugging the Saminator.
Game on.
Red handed me my own weapon of mass destruction and skipped over to his hidden stash of 'bullets' so that I could defend myself. It's only fair. I pressed the yellow foam bullet into the barrel, cocked that bad boy and shot Red in the belly. He fell dramatically to the floor with a giggle.
I reloaded and aimed at Saminator...who's eyes were glued, unblinking, at the large screen...mouth slightly open.
I shot..and the little rubber end hit young Homer in the neck, thwap, and stuck. That was cool. Saminator laughed as he yanked it off.
At least I had his attention.
Eventually the war game ended, the boys were dressed and we were on our way to the stores. They were somewhat behaved as we made our purchases (after all..it was all for them), and we decided to go to Boston Pizza to visit The Short One and have a snack (and COFFEE) before ball hockey.
The boys bolted into the restaurant, barely managing to remain in the "To Be Seated" zone when I asked them to hold up. I need to get their brakes checked.
Their sister greeted us with a big beautiful smile and the boys were off in two shakes to pick a booth. We were in one when Saminator decided to run into another one. I just gave him 'the look' and asked him to get back here. The Short One whispered that someone from their head office was there so she'd have to be very formal. I shook my head in understanding and said a quick prayer that the boys would leave the restaurant in the same condition it was in when we arrived.
Coats off, Red beside me and Saminator across from me, we ordered a snack and drinks. We managed to get through the half hour with only a few requests to Red to get out from under the table, and a few looks at the Saminator when he stood up to fire his TecDeck across the wall. That's a successful restaurant trip.
Then it was time for ball hockey.
I'm going to save you the play by play simply because there were too many wicked moments to count! Saminator started the game by swooping over to the ball and running it past the other teams' defense to score with a cool little toss into the top corner.
Oh yeah...
He then moved back to defense, later taking the goalie position where he didn't actually have much action.
Cuz the RedMan was on frickin fire.
SIX goals ma friends. SIX!!
The other team didn't have a chance as Red whipped the ball away from frantic players and maneuvered in, around, and through the other players until he got to the net where he'd fire in a shot. After every goal he'd come running down the arena to get a fist five and helmet tap from his grinning mom.
My favourite play happened at the net. He actually faked a shot bringing the goalie diving down to block a corner, then Red calmly pulled the ball back and shot over the grounded goaltender.
Like...where does the dude come up with that stuff?
My heart just thumps reliving the moment. Kid rocks.
I drove back to Toronto to the sound of snoring in the back seat.
An hour after arrival, the kids decided they were hungry. Now. It was 4:00.
Time for our date.
Ever been to The Spaghetti Factory on Front Street? If you haven't, go! Highly recommended! Lots of interesting decor, food is fantastic and you don't feel financially raped when the bill comes. It's ahhhhite!
The hostess led us through the restaurant to our table. I pulled the chairs out for the boys and pushed them back in for them. The floors are covered with cushiony carpet that makes sliding chairs impossible...
They were each given 5 crayons bundled together with an elastic. An elastic.
Sigh
We ordered chocolate milks and coke and discussed menu options as the boys untied their crayons and began working away at the paper place mats. Spaghetti and meatballs all around. Bonus!
Chocolate milk arrived in glasses with two straws.
'Please don't blow bubbles.'
'No...don't slurp.'
'You are not a walrus..please take the straws out of your mouth.'
Eventually I just took their milk away and they returned to colouring, briefly.
'yes, you have a big foot, now get that big floppy thing off the table.'
'Don't lean back in your chair, it's gonna go over.'
'No, really, it'll go over. Sit properly.'
Dinner arrived and was enjoyed. Butcha gotta have dessert.
Ice cream for everyone!
Sweet...
Leftover spaghetti cleared away the boys had to entertain themselves. And if you take an elastic, and pull it between crayons like this....
'Put the elastic down before it flies off and hits someone.'
Two little lightbulbs appear just over the horns on two little heads.
The 'Ibroughtyouintotheworldandicantakeyouout Look' appears and the light from the light bulb momentarily dims.
The elastic turned into handcuffs. They discovered they could handcuff themselves with wrists in front or behind. Red explained he was going to jail.
'For what?' Says me
'I was bad.' Says him
'What did you do?' Says me
'I stole something.' Says him
'Oh dear, what did you steal?' Says me
'Popsicles.' Says him
It's a tough world folks.
Handcuffs got boring and they tried pulling the elastics back between the crayons..(give them credit for not giving up easily) but their mother was on to them.
Saminator though it would make a nice necklace but that didn't fly either.
Who was the brilliant mind that thought that would be a good plan? Bundling crayons with an elastic and giving them to kids at a busy restaurant?
In hindsight I should have let 'em have at at it, just so I could shrug at the distraught staff and tell them they shouldn't hand out elastics to kids. I am kind of curious just what the little monkeys would have come up with, given the freedom to explore the possibilities...
Restaurant still standing if you'd like to check it out :)
We were home by 6:30, played a bit, bathed, and watched a movie. We were all in bed by 8:30.
Not terribly surprising.
It was a good day though :) And I am proud of those kids...despite the moments of shock and horror.
No bloody wonder I'm nuts.
Saturday morning I whizzed through Toronto traffic and made the trip down to the metropolis of Bealton to pick up the boys.
(whizzed through Toronto....metropolis of Bealton...heh, heh, heh...I kill me!)
I reached my destination at 9AM and found them in their pajamas watching cartoons. Red had a mouthful of green 'breakfast' liquorice.
Sigh
I wanted to take them shopping before ball hockey at noon, so I began the process of getting them away from the TV and dressed immediately. Promises of new hoodies from the cool store and a trip to the sports store sparked interest momentarily, but its pretty hard to compete with the Madagascar penguins.
And they had the Nerf launchers out too. I got shot in the ass while hugging the Saminator.
Game on.
Red handed me my own weapon of mass destruction and skipped over to his hidden stash of 'bullets' so that I could defend myself. It's only fair. I pressed the yellow foam bullet into the barrel, cocked that bad boy and shot Red in the belly. He fell dramatically to the floor with a giggle.
I reloaded and aimed at Saminator...who's eyes were glued, unblinking, at the large screen...mouth slightly open.
I shot..and the little rubber end hit young Homer in the neck, thwap, and stuck. That was cool. Saminator laughed as he yanked it off.
At least I had his attention.
Eventually the war game ended, the boys were dressed and we were on our way to the stores. They were somewhat behaved as we made our purchases (after all..it was all for them), and we decided to go to Boston Pizza to visit The Short One and have a snack (and COFFEE) before ball hockey.
The boys bolted into the restaurant, barely managing to remain in the "To Be Seated" zone when I asked them to hold up. I need to get their brakes checked.
Their sister greeted us with a big beautiful smile and the boys were off in two shakes to pick a booth. We were in one when Saminator decided to run into another one. I just gave him 'the look' and asked him to get back here. The Short One whispered that someone from their head office was there so she'd have to be very formal. I shook my head in understanding and said a quick prayer that the boys would leave the restaurant in the same condition it was in when we arrived.
Coats off, Red beside me and Saminator across from me, we ordered a snack and drinks. We managed to get through the half hour with only a few requests to Red to get out from under the table, and a few looks at the Saminator when he stood up to fire his TecDeck across the wall. That's a successful restaurant trip.
Then it was time for ball hockey.
I'm going to save you the play by play simply because there were too many wicked moments to count! Saminator started the game by swooping over to the ball and running it past the other teams' defense to score with a cool little toss into the top corner.
Oh yeah...
He then moved back to defense, later taking the goalie position where he didn't actually have much action.
Cuz the RedMan was on frickin fire.
SIX goals ma friends. SIX!!
The other team didn't have a chance as Red whipped the ball away from frantic players and maneuvered in, around, and through the other players until he got to the net where he'd fire in a shot. After every goal he'd come running down the arena to get a fist five and helmet tap from his grinning mom.
My favourite play happened at the net. He actually faked a shot bringing the goalie diving down to block a corner, then Red calmly pulled the ball back and shot over the grounded goaltender.
Like...where does the dude come up with that stuff?
My heart just thumps reliving the moment. Kid rocks.
I drove back to Toronto to the sound of snoring in the back seat.
An hour after arrival, the kids decided they were hungry. Now. It was 4:00.
Time for our date.
Ever been to The Spaghetti Factory on Front Street? If you haven't, go! Highly recommended! Lots of interesting decor, food is fantastic and you don't feel financially raped when the bill comes. It's ahhhhite!
The hostess led us through the restaurant to our table. I pulled the chairs out for the boys and pushed them back in for them. The floors are covered with cushiony carpet that makes sliding chairs impossible...
They were each given 5 crayons bundled together with an elastic. An elastic.
Sigh
We ordered chocolate milks and coke and discussed menu options as the boys untied their crayons and began working away at the paper place mats. Spaghetti and meatballs all around. Bonus!
Chocolate milk arrived in glasses with two straws.
'Please don't blow bubbles.'
'No...don't slurp.'
'You are not a walrus..please take the straws out of your mouth.'
Eventually I just took their milk away and they returned to colouring, briefly.
'yes, you have a big foot, now get that big floppy thing off the table.'
'Don't lean back in your chair, it's gonna go over.'
'No, really, it'll go over. Sit properly.'
Dinner arrived and was enjoyed. Butcha gotta have dessert.
Ice cream for everyone!
Sweet...
Leftover spaghetti cleared away the boys had to entertain themselves. And if you take an elastic, and pull it between crayons like this....
'Put the elastic down before it flies off and hits someone.'
Two little lightbulbs appear just over the horns on two little heads.
The 'Ibroughtyouintotheworldandicantakeyouout Look' appears and the light from the light bulb momentarily dims.
The elastic turned into handcuffs. They discovered they could handcuff themselves with wrists in front or behind. Red explained he was going to jail.
'For what?' Says me
'I was bad.' Says him
'What did you do?' Says me
'I stole something.' Says him
'Oh dear, what did you steal?' Says me
'Popsicles.' Says him
It's a tough world folks.
Handcuffs got boring and they tried pulling the elastics back between the crayons..(give them credit for not giving up easily) but their mother was on to them.
Saminator though it would make a nice necklace but that didn't fly either.
Who was the brilliant mind that thought that would be a good plan? Bundling crayons with an elastic and giving them to kids at a busy restaurant?
In hindsight I should have let 'em have at at it, just so I could shrug at the distraught staff and tell them they shouldn't hand out elastics to kids. I am kind of curious just what the little monkeys would have come up with, given the freedom to explore the possibilities...
Ice cream finally arrived, was eaten...bill paid..and we bolted before they discovered anymore fun uses for elastics.
End of date.
Restaurant still standing if you'd like to check it out :)
We were home by 6:30, played a bit, bathed, and watched a movie. We were all in bed by 8:30.
Not terribly surprising.
It was a good day though :) And I am proud of those kids...despite the moments of shock and horror.
