It's not Monday?

Thank gawd the six year old is on top of these things....it's Tuesday, it's Tuesday, it's Tuesday....

What the hell happened to Monday?

Oh yes...picked up boys in morning...day was grey..rainy...afternoon trapped indoors with two balls of fury flying through multiple games on the Wii, swordfights and hockey games...a blurr of warnings about fighting, wiping tears, time outs, and those handy little Lysol wipes that are a must before sitting down on toilet...a vague recollection of a spaghetti dinner...and blessed sleeeeep....

Tuesday.

The sun decided to pay us a visit today...and since by 7AM the boys had had 4 wrestling matches, 2 hockey games and one Mario Kart race that ended badly for the Saminator, I decided we were going outside toodsweet.  (yes that was on purpose) I'm not sure what I looked like..but this is why God created the ball cap and sunglasses.

You don't have to drive far to find a place to set the animals free.  My apartment is fairly close to the lake and Toronto prides itself in its care of the beaches.  Rightfully so.  I'm not sure how far the beach goes but it's beautifully kept...and there is quite the assortment of playground equipment.  The best part?  Mine were the only two at the playground...

The joy of exploration of new equipment faded and a game of good guys vs bad guys began...multiple warning about sticks...about pushing...AND it was time to move on...  We ran across the span of beach volleyball courts, headed for the water.  No rubber boots...but hell...kids come washable and dryable.  

Sometimes as a parent, you must take one for the good of mankind.

We found ourselves a little spot and I plunked my arse down in the sand to take pictures while the boys searched for perfect stones to skip and to build sandcastles with their hands.  We were all equally delighted at the number of dogs walking their people up and down the beach.  Labs and terriers, Buster dogs, great danes and little pug nosed something or others.  They all introduced themselves, some offering the occasional lake water showers as their people grimaced.  It's all good.  

When Red became irritable at the happy pups blazing a trail through his sand wall, and Saminator stood up and half a tonne of sand fell from his person, I realized it was time to head home.  Lunch followed by nappypoo.

A hot shower late afternoon helped shake the cobwebs.  It takes considerable training to survive a monkey marathon, and I am sadly out of shape.  Yet I pushed on, so far unmedicated.

We went underground on the PATH to pick up new spring jackets with promises of donuts for the well behaved.  

I get a kick out of some salespeople.  Does nothing register as these retail queens watch me continuously warn the the boys to control their silly antics...repeatedly requesting they resist the urge to take swipes at their teasing sibling with their free hands, or feet, behind my back?  Do they know the power of the unbridled storm at my fingertips?  The two innocent faces barely suppressing the urge to tear free from the grip of their mother's hands,  to climb the shelves and reek havoc on the neatly piled T-shirts.  Oh the game of hide and seek that could be played amongst the racks of clothes and unsuspecting bystanders!  If they chuck all the clothes out of the bins...think of the wrestling match once they climb inside!  It's simply unwise to stand idly by and make me and my wee charges wait in line unnecessarily to make a purchase.  Two people in line, plus 2 tellers should equal no wait time...just sayin.  Especially when one teller is just moving shit around on the counter and acting like she's too good to be there.  I suggested to the older one who had damned near yanked my arm off by now, that I set them free if they don't serve us soon...saying so with enough volume to be overheard by the lazy saleswoman, cause that's how I roll.  The snotty teller offered to take me at the empty till as if she was doing me a grand favour.  Was it my comment, or the way Saminator's face lit up that inspired her?  Hmmmm...

If she only knew just how long my memory was.  That, dear friends, was that beatch's Mulligan. 

Coming back across the food court I asked the kids if they'd prefer an ice cream over a donut.  Duh.  As we waited what seemed an hour for the single person in line to finish counting their fucking pennies, the boys began to get silly...Saminator saying outrageous things as his younger, adoring brother laughed hysterically and  offered the occasional shove.  As this became a game of keepaway...with me as the barrier between the circling Terrors of Toronto, I simply looked at the ladies serving.  They were laughing at me.  Hardy fucking harr.  The look on their faces when I had the boys order their own ice cream was priceless.  Yes, I am out of my tree.  I have to tell you though, fastest freaking ice cream ever served on the planet.  Get the hell away from us, you crazy people,  was the message in that speedy service.  

See, now there are some smart people in retail.  All is not lost.

I did manage to teach one valuable lesson to my littlest angel today.

He insisted that he loved broccoli, and so for dinner tonight, I served pork chops and broccoli.  I did sprinkle some cheese on top.  Real cheese...not that Cheese Wiz that tastes nasty as shit.

When I put their plates down, Saminator was horrified, but Red had this 'oh shit I think I might be busted' look on his face.  

Saminator asked for something else .. okay, whined for anything else but broccoli, and I told him that's all there was.  He had to at least try.

I sat next to Red and watched him fidget out of the corner of my eye.

"Come on buddy, you said you love broccoli so I got it just for you...eat up now!"

I smiled as I said it, watching him measure me with his eyes.  The 'oh shit' turned into unspoken admiration.

Oh yeah, yo momma gotch yo numba.  You just learned your first lesson about your mother.  Never bullshit this bullshitter.

I let him fidget for another 5 minutes before I said "I don't suppose you'll be fibbing again will you?"

He solemnly declared he would not.

I brought out the leftover spaghetti.

And there was peace in the land of the Crazy Momma and her monkeys.

Now, it's time to clog the bathtub with sand from the beach, and go to sleep.

They will ask to snuggle me once they are all tucked in.  Saminator will wrap his arms around me and Red will snuggle into the crook of my arm and we'll tell each other we love each other.  

I'll try to remember what day it is when I wake tomorrow.

The Boys are Back in Town!

As always, my excitement over seeing the boys manifested into busy preparation for their arrival.  I zipped to the grocery store in effort to somewhat fill my empty fridge....move over fridge dust bunnies... Then I prepared a nice rib dinner...ready for when they were expected to arrive at 5pm.  


This weekend, they are skipping Saturday hockey practice to stay here in Toronto with me. Sunday, we'll boogy out of here by 6:30AM to get to Sam's hockey game...but tonight, and tomorrow..we be chillin'....


At 6:30pm (late as shit motha fucka!) security called up "hi Vicki, there are a whole lot of kids here to see you!"  I grinned.  My 2 boys have a way of appearing like a whole lot of kids, it's true.  "Send 'em up!" says me.  "You got it" says security...like he couldn't get them out of the lobby quick enough.


heh heh heh...that's ma boys...


They burst through the door a few minutes later and in no time we were at the table (yeah..that would be the bad boy I assembled last week) eating dinner.  I am always surprised with how much boys can put away, and was impressed with the pile of shiny bones on Red's plate...his little face a big smear of rib sauce.  Saminator, however, wasn't feeling well...diarrhea....gggreat.....


Whatevs..they played Wii as I cleaned up and whipped up some banana bread which I put in the oven to bake as I gave them a bath.  I am domestic goddess today.  Boys had chocolate bath, pedicures (what's with the caveman feet...eyuuuuu) and I tucked them into their makeshift beds.  It was a nice night and I look forward to tomorrow :)


Inspired by Trophy Husbands singing with Sontoo, I'm leaving you with a link to my favourite video recording.  I'm singing "When I Think About Cheating" which is a really redneck country kind of tune...and Red participated.  Watch to the end for the cutest part...I apologize for the misery you have to endure to get there....


LilVic's version of "When I Think About Cheating" by Gretchin Wilson

Dinner With Ma Work Brothas!

So it was Tuesday.  And I had been talking with my brothas about dinner for ages...never mind the constant messages JL had been sending from my Habibi....it was time for an evening at my home away from home...

Here's a little tune to set the mood...LOL

Songbird

I wheeled my sleek and beautiful Avenger into the parking lot that sits on the north side of the East Toronto Delta.  Wrapping my scarf around my neck and listening to the cheerful beep of the car alarm engaging, I hurried against the cold wind, and blew through the revolving doors that led inside.

Chester, a big burly man that seldom smiles, looked up and his eyes about popped out of his head as he exclaimed "Vicki!!!  Are you staying wit uss???"

Feeling a bit like a deer caught in headlights I laughed and shook my head, explaining my short visit.

"ooh noooo! But we miss your smile!!!" says he.

Now I don't care who you are, ya gotta love that.  He missed me!  Awe......

The Delta was my home for months until I found my sweet condo downtown and moved out.  It had been three months since I had been back...the visit was long overdue.

I missed the people that had adopted me there...Chester and the ladies at front desk that greeted me every morning and every evening, Karen and the girls who served breakfast every morning, J the bellhop that would always stop to say hello and make me smile..the cleaning ladies that gave me extra chocolates and coffee...and Habibi and the other bartenders and wait staff that worked the restaurant I ate at every night.  I felt like a princess :)

I hopped up onto a barstool at the end of the bar and chatted with the girl who served me a drink...delighted to see me and excited to see Habibi's reaction when he saw me.

Habibi is a tiny man from Egypt...and he's worked that bar for 20 years.  He is the best bartender in Toronto...and I'm doing my best to prove that theory!  When he laid eyes on me he hurried around the bar and gave me a huge hug...."wwwick!!!!  oh my gawd...so gooda see yuuuuu!!!  Did you get my messages???  Oh my gaaawd!!!!"

Sitting at Habibi's bar, your glass is never empty and, well, for his favourite ladies anyway....every drink served is followed by "I love uuuu!"..  For the men at the bar, he's quick to point out all the "beautiful countries" (code for hot chicks)...

See what I mean?  Ya just have the love the guy!

It wasn't long before I was joined at the bar by my work brothas and we ate some dinner...had a few drinks...and a lot of laughs.  I still can't believe how fortunate I am to work with such a great bunch of people!

Much to my surprise, about an hour into the evening...in struts Captain America (so dubbed by JL as the muscular and handsome man served in the US army and was a policeman for a good number of years).  Another guest that I had befriended during my stay...I think he had been there on 2 separate occasions for about a week each visit.  What amazing good fortune to have the pleasure of catching up with this sweet man for a couple of hours.  I got to hear about his 2 adult boys and his daughter...the wife he adores...  If only I could someday have that kind of love....the kind that survives and flourishes....sigh....  And Captain America promised that I would.  In fact he told me to settle for nothing less that a man that puts me on a pedestal, who stands beside me, protects me...never let's anyone say a bad word about me...  All I'm thinkin is wow...sigh....

After Captain America went to bed, I allowed myself to be talked into just one more drink with the 3 fine work brothas that surrounded me.  I listened to the banter...got in one or two digs myself.  I laughed when a couple of them offered to share their rooms..."c'mon!  Have a shot!  Habibi..get the girl a tequila!!"

Eye roll.... as if....

Hearing my protest and excuses about not even having a toothbrush, Big Jay staggered out to the Front Desk to get me one.

"See?" he said .. "Gif a shupernintendent a prolem an eel fiksh it"

Good ta know dude!

I drove home later on feeling blessed.  And I am.  I have people that care about me..and I care a lot about them too :)

And I am so gonna book a night there soon so I can park my ass in front of a line up of Habibi's tequila shots and have a serious drink night with the Work Brothas.  This excites Habibi too...because the Delta just ain't the same without the lot of us turning his bar into a party now and again.

My my my, can we party...

But I'll save those stories for another day :)

A Notso Typical Sunday

I hate Sunday nights.  It's that really mellow day of the week that I find myself missing having someone around...


SO....


I've taken to getting dressed up city slicker casual, and walking down to the Eaton's Centre to shop for the afternoon.


Then I'll go home, drop off my packages...back down the elevator and head across the street to go to Jack Astor's for that deadly Sesame Chicken stir fry for dinner.  And a Jacked Up Wodka.  Or two.


I find myself a little booth and hide while I eat...using the time to catch up on phone calls and texts..just saying hello to friends and family back home.


This Sunday had me a little more distracted than normal, as I was wrapped up in thoughts about a dear friend who was diagnosed with cancer.  For him, it's the second time he's had it...and at the moment, he's unable to face treatment.  I say 'at the moment' because I hope he changes his mind.  


As I smile at the waiter bringing my drink, I'm thinking about this man and the fear he's wrestling...the children, the family...  I'm thinking about how he wants to disappear down south and die instead of fighting through months of pain, hoping that the treatment cures what ails him.


I'm wondering what I would do if I were in his shoes.  I understand being too tired to fight...we all do.  And I understand 'why me'...


It's hard to gather why these things happen to good people.  And it's my own selfishness that wants to grab a hold of my friend and beg him to stay and fight.  But I don't want him to fight for me, or his family...or even his children. If he chooses this battle, it must be for himself and his desire to live..and find happiness.


The waiter brings my dinner and I smile and thank him...he pauses a moment to wink and flirt...which is strange, considering he's flaming gay and beautiful that way...I send him for another drink...


The second drink comes and I am grateful..  Gawd knows the wodka doesn't make the sadness go away..but she helps jest a leeettle...no?


I silently get through not quite half of what was set before me before I push my plate away.


A man wearing a big grin glances my way, pointedly looks at the empty seat across from me and asks if I'm alone.  


I shrug and smile...yup.


"Can I join you?" says he.


Why not?  Conversation would be nice....


"Sure, that would be nice" says me.


Plate cleared and drinks poured..the fine young gentleman introduces himself with an accent that is familiar but not registering at all..  He no doubt thought me daft...  


"Where are you from?" I ask.  It's Sunday night football and I lean over the table to hear his reply over the crowd hollering.


"Where do you think?" Says he.  Oh...it's gonna be like that is it?  Forcing cerebral activity as I sip my third Jacked Up wodka (ps...if it's Jacked Up..it's a double)...


sigh


"Well, from across the pond...England?" I'm sort of with it.  See my Speak Canadian blog further down....


"Think bigger pond...further than the Atlantic" he says.  This poor lad thought he was in for intelligent conversation but I'm about to disappoint him with my blank stare.   Still mentally dragging myself out of the gloomy mood I was in I mumble apologies and shake my head.


"Australia" says he.


The light bulb flickered momentarily over my head.


Knowing the only way to distract him from my apparent temporary (I hope) mental retardation would be to keep him talking, I start firing questions at him.


"Are you here on business?  What do you do?  How long are you here for?"


The poor man must have been wondering if he should have stayed at the bar.  He was witty enough to joke about my questioning and respond with a couple of his own.  It wasn't long before the conversation turned to work.  I mention that I'm in construction.


"Ah...they just finished a big project in my town"  he continues and all I hear is "blahdebo dubai".  Dubai...that's familiar...I just got an email about the monstrosity they built in the Middle East..but this dude's from Australia... Oh for the love of gawd did someone suck out my brain when I wasn't looking??  Too much time at the mall???


He cleared up that mystery...he's from Australia but living in Dubai.  oooooohhhhh


Just to make me feel a bigger idiot, turns out he's a pilot.  He was on stopover... dead tired and just aiming to keep awake for a couple of hours so as to get a good night's sleep before he took off again on another 13 hour flight.


Once again I refer to my blog about speaking Canadian.  When he mentioned the airline he worked for, I drew a blank.  I'm fricking brilliant on the fly at times.  


"Is that a small airline?"  says me.


He just about choked on his beer.


At some point he must have figured out that his new drink mate was a tad slow, and it might be best to use pictures and small words.  He kindly got out his IPhone and showed me the LUXURY plane he flies for Emirates by the way...for crissake ..could I be any kewler dude??  I flipped through a dozen beautiful destinations I can only dream of seeing someday...  This man has seen the world..  


Pause to chew lip before continuing...


I'm not sure when it happened, but the conversation turned religious.  He is an atheist and I am a Christian.  I still, by the way, find his belief that when he dies, he will simply be gone..well...sad.  I like believing in something better, in knowing in my heart that someday we will find peace.


And this belief is what carries me though my shittiest days...and certainly is what gives me hope for my dear friend.  No matter what he chooses.


I think my drinking companion and I were both ready to throw in the towel at the same time, and knowing we were both tired and had put our best social foot forward for a couple of hours, we parted ways friends.


I trudge across the street in the light drizzle.  Smiled and gave the security guards a cheerful good night.


Crawled into bed, tired and worried.  


Hoping that my friend finds peace, no matter what he decides.

Me 'n da Boyzzz

Saturday.

Me.  Red.  Saminator.  Unsupervised in the city.

The morning was rather uneventful, other than the Skype chat with Duckman.  The boys got to say 'hey' which was enough to wind them up and turn the condo into a hockey rink.  I'm sure my neighbours hate me.  The thumping of feet running across the hardwood...little bodies slamming into walls...slapshots, hoots, hollering...and gawd help me the penalties and subsequent retaliation shots...  I have no doubt that my shushing isn't nearly as quiet as I hope.  It certainly has zero effect.  About the only thing that works is the reminder that I have neighbours and they are going to wake up the baby.  I have no idea if there is indeed a baby...but the story slows the little monkeys momentarily...giving me time to come up with the next bribe.   Today's bribe was skating at Nathan Philip's Square.  Actually I'm not 100% sure it was the skating or the possibility of a cab ride that paused the indoor hockey brawl...  meh...

So we had some grilled cheese, the last of the world's crappiest looking cookies...we peed...we wrestled into snow pants and coats..(got in a couple of shots and howls during the 2 freaking seconds I left the front foyer)..and fell into the hallway.

The boys took off to the elevators and I could hear the doors open as I was locking my own door.  Visions of the two holy terrors running up and down the elevators tormenting unsuspecting residents flashed before my eyes as I darted down the hall and slid into the elevator.  Fortunately they were wrestling over who gets to push the button...bought me the time I needed....

Quick lecture about holding my hands and not running in the lobby...and we actually made it to the street.

The large outdoor rink is located approximately 5 blocks away...maybe a ten minute walk.  A lovely walk in fact, as it was only -1 this afternoon, and there was hardly any wind.  Saminator whined about how impossibly far the walk was...and when is a cab going to come by???...even going so far as to fall to his blessed knees at one point.  We were about a block away from home.  Oh the drama...  Little Red would jump up and down everytime a cab drove by, but alas...they were always going the wrong way.  Poor lads...walking to the rink like that.

And then low and behold...we were there.

"Oh that didn't take long!"  Chirped Red.

"uh huh" says me..

:)

So on went 2 pairs of skates and 2 helmets and the little freakazoids were off...zipping between the other skaters, diving, rolling...  And their mom...all bundled up watching with pride.  Those kids are pretty cool.  They'd go around once or maybe twice..waving at me...or stopping for a hug...  putting on a little show...reeally working it when someone notices them... LOL...little shits...

At some point, the wind picked up.  I couldn't feel my feet or hands and gave the boys the five minute warning.

And we caught a cab to go home.  Momma and the cold don't see eye to eye.

When we got in we had some tortilla's and salsa and snuggled up on the couch.  At some point, we all fell asleep, Red curled up in front of me...Saminator curled up at my legs with his head on my butt ...  I woke up stroking my older boy's hair as he slept, and buried my face in Red's neck...just feeling his soft warm skin, breathing his little boy smell...  I only get one day a week, but it's our day.

I tried to slip away to make dinner but woke them...and they watched TV with that sleepy little almost awake stare as I prepared dinner, and some Rice Krispie squares for dessert.

Soon enough I was turning the TV off and putting dinner down on the coffee table.  One more week and the dining room set comes in...hurray!  No more sitting on the floor around the coffee table.  Well...no more HAVING to sit there...we undoubtedly still will..it's all good :)

Me, flanked by Red and Sam, on the floor, at the coffee table..having dinner.  Pork chops, simmered in soup, with mashed potatoes.  mmmmm...  Our conversation went somewhat like this:

Me: "We need to go on vacation....where would you like to go?"

Saminator:  "Mexico"

Me, thinking are you crazy??? "Oh you don't want to go there..."

Saminator: "Why not?"

Me: "Because if you eat the ice cubes you get the poops"

Red:  "what's the poops?"

Me:  "Well, first your stomach makes this noise....rrrrrrrraaaruuurrrrrr"

Saminator and Red giggle and repeat noise.

Me:  "Then  you do this.." make motion with arms of running furiously, eyes wide, lips forming silent 'oh'....

Saminator and Red...laugh and repeat motion.

Me:  "Then you sit on toilet and your stomach makes noise (even louder)....RRRRRRAAARUUUURRRR"

Saminator and Red now standing up...laughing and making noise...

Me:  "and you have to hold on tight to the toilet...cuz the poop is coming out and it's going to shoot you straight up through the ROOF!!!!"

(my kids are soooo gonna need therapy)

Saminator and Red now rolling around laughing hysterically...

:)

So Mexico was a no.  They didn't want the poops.
They certainly won't eat Mexican ice cubes.

But Disneyland is something they are definitely pulling for.

We'll see.

"We'll see"...gawd I sound like my mother...  heh heh heh

The Wii occupied the boys as I tidied up and before we all knew it, it was time for pajamas..and bed.

Toronto seems relatively unscathed.

It was a good day.