Thursday, January 7, 2010

My horoscope for 2010

SCORPIO - The Addict



EXTREMELY adorable. Loves to joke. Very Good sense of humor. Will try almost anything once. Loves to be pampered. Energetic. Predictable. GREAT kisser. Always get what they want.. Attractive. Loves being in long relationships. Talkative. Loves to party but at times to the extreme. Loves the smell and feel of money and is good at making it but just as good at spending it! Very protective over loved ones. HARD workers. Can be a good friend but if is disrespected by a friend, the friendship will end. Romantic. Caring.. 4 years of bad luck if you do not forward.
 
This, along with the horoscopes for all the other signs, was in my inbox this morning.  Note the 4 years of bad luck I'll get if I don't forward the email.  I take no chances..it was forwarded. 
 
I'm wierdly superstitious that way actually.  If I read it, I will forward it.  If I suspect there might be some strange voodoo jinx at the end of an email that I'm not interested in, I won't read it.  I figure if I haven't read it, I should be okay to delete it without worrying about said voodoo jinx affecting me.
 
So far so good...
 
Knock on my wooden head....
 
Ohhhh...there's another superstition.... 
 
It's not entirely my fault you know...  My mother is British.
 
For those that need further explanation than that... the British are very superstitious.  My father commonly refers to my mother as the witch doctor.  Just now realized how utterly horrid that sounds.
 
But he is referring to her many many superstitions, most of which I continue on with.  Just in case. 
 
 - Spill salt, throw it over shoulder.  Since I can't remember which hand or which shoulder, I do both.  Cover all bases....
 - Don't walk under ladders.  Not only is this going to ward off bad luck, but makes absolute sense as you never know when the ding-dong up the ladder may drop something.
 - Never ever, under any circumstances, open an umbrella indoors.  Somewhere there is a picture of Neomom and I sitting in living room wearing cheeky grins under open umbrellas we received as gifts one Christmas.  I think my mother nearly had a heart attack.
 - Never ever put new shoes on the table.  Don't ask, I have no clue...
 
The older I get, the more superstitious I get about these things...as I said...just in case.  Nobody gets hurt and I am not tempting fate.
 
Or voodoo or Karma or whatever. 
 
It's maybe taken me 38 years, but I've figured out the best plan is to not piss anyone off...imaginary, godly or earthly.  It's not a foolproof plan, and I am a fool...but it is a plan.  Hopefully intentions count for something.
 
Anyways...back to the horoscope.
 
It's all true.  Especially the adorable part.
 
:)