It's Family Day...which for actual together families might mean doing family type stuff...singin Kumbya or whatever it is they like to do. I can't even spell it. :P Never said I was June Cleaver dudes.
My family is all over the place...I got to hang with my boys Friday, Saturday and Sunday morning...the rest of the weekend is their dad's turn. Joys of split families. The older two are off doing their thing...that's cool. I'm not really high maintenance. Unless I feel like it.
grin
So this Family Day, I'm just hanging out by myself... doin ma ting mon. I got up at 7:30 to send an email to the real estate agent, then went back to bed. Cuz I could.
I got bored though.
So I got up and made myself a bagel and tea...watched a little shitty TV. Does anyone actually watch The View? Yeah...it's not for me.
Went to little girl's room. Large mirror and bright lights did magnificent job of drawing attention to greys growing through the last colour job. So what the hell...I coloured my hair.
Picture me shaking out my locks for you..."it's me only better!"
Yeah okay shut up.
I was bored.
So what does a chick do when she's bored? She goes shopping. And lucky for me, the Eaton's Centre is a 10 minute walk away, if I walk quickly.
But first, one must get dressed. I am after all, trendy Torontonian urbanite now. I have an image to uphold.
Done rolling your eyes yet? The ladies know what I'm on about...you men can bite me.
I went casual urbanite today...skinny jeans, aqua blue oversize T, scarf draped just right, black boots pulled over the jeans. hhhhhottt without trying too hard.
Shaking my locks again.
The best part is that I can't even write this shit without laughing at how lame I am.
Whatevs.
So off I went, walking quickly just because, well, I'm used to walking quickly. Down Wellington, up Bay, across Richmond...and then it happened.
Family Day in Toronto. And all the fucking cousins must be visiting. Rock on! The day just got fun dudes!
Buddy sat cross legged in front of the 7 Eleven with his little empty Timmy cup, lookin' for change. I said "hey" and smiled. He winked and gave me a hey back.
I could hear my brother before I could see him. The voice of a preacher, praising Jesus, warning of the end of the world. The same voice I had heard on several occasions on the street below my condo in the middle of the night. It was about time I got to put a face to the voice. And I did just that. He was magnificent, standing on the steps leading up to City Hall. A big black man, he wore a white night gown, and a multi coloured blanket served as his cape. His arms stretched out over the crowds of people he addressed, and his deep voice rose above the normal city sounds of traffic and chatter. Hiding a smile, I walked past, carefully observing the reaction of the other passersby. Some appeared amused, others scared, and a surprising number completely oblivious. Interesting.
To the mall! And dayam it was packed! Kids, teens, old people, young people...fellow hot Toronto urbanites like myself (yack) but mostly tourists. Apparently this is what some families do on Family Day. So much for Kumbya theory.
I unbuttoned my coat and headed for the bookstore. sigh. I'm sorry..I just have to get the last fucking Twilight book. There I said it. It's out. Y'all know my dirty little secret. I also picked up an exercise DVD. 5 different 1/2 hour workouts. Will see if this one holds my attention for longer than five minutes. Or if it drives me back to wodka and cookies. meh.
I wanted another pair of kickass jeans from the Gap. The 1969 straight cut is like, my favourite jean ever dudes! I am slowly replacing all my old jeans, getting ready for trip to clothing donation bin. Same as the rest of the stuff I never wear. Spring is coming after all. Anyway, I did a bit a clothes shopping, mostly because the gay salesmen were all over me today, no matter which store I went into. It was like a sign for me, and I don't ignore the signs. See, if the salespeople ignore me, I usually don't bother...but a little encouragement, and my credit card comes right out. Magic. Readers in retail pay attention.
I avoided stores with sales...mostly because it was crap on sale and there were too many icky rude people in there and I am not good at being patient. Instant gratification, that's what it's all about boys and girls!
New clothing urges satisfied, I had one last store to hit. Shopper's Drug Mart. I needed eye make up remover. It's like a $10 purchase or something. And I had to line up behind 20 people to pay for it. 20 people and 2 cashiers. Brilliant. But I'm in no hurry today. So I line up and watch, amused as people see the line up and groan. Some put their items down and just leave. Other's get pissy. A few like me could care less. There was the sweetest little guy waiting in line with his mom just ahead of me. He looked about 3, and his mom was buying him one of those little bundles of lollipops. Can you imagine? And he just stayed with her, never said a word other than to point at the odd item in the aisles as we moved closer to the cashiers. I just smiled.
Finished shopping, my pace was decidedly slower as I pointed my boots towards the mall exit. I took the time to watch people in the mall. An old lady rooting through the garbage bin. Two very large men with muscles bulging from beneath their tight sports T's, touching hands briefly and smiling at one another. A group of teenage girls giggling. A father maneuvering an empty stroller through the crowd with one hand and holding a bundled up baby with the other, determined grimace plastered across his face. Wonder where mom was? heh heh heh...atta girl....
I buttoned up my coat as I stepped outside into the cool air. Casually, slowly, I walked past the Preacher, tempted to shout out an amen brother, just to see what he'd say. I wondered where he'd sleep tonight. I strolled past Buddy in front of the 7 Eleven. "Still here eh brother?" I smiled at him "Still here, still here" he said, smiling. I wondered if he had a family.
I stopped in to Tim Horton's for a double double and sauntered home smiling. I giggled when an impatient driver honked at someone taking too long to cross the street. I like honking too. It grows on you.
Just like this city.
Even on Family Day.
Monday, February 15, 2010
Friday, February 12, 2010
The Boys are Back in Town!
As always, my excitement over seeing the boys manifested into busy preparation for their arrival. I zipped to the grocery store in effort to somewhat fill my empty fridge....move over fridge dust bunnies... Then I prepared a nice rib dinner...ready for when they were expected to arrive at 5pm.
This weekend, they are skipping Saturday hockey practice to stay here in Toronto with me. Sunday, we'll boogy out of here by 6:30AM to get to Sam's hockey game...but tonight, and tomorrow..we be chillin'....
At 6:30pm (late as shit motha fucka!) security called up "hi Vicki, there are a whole lot of kids here to see you!" I grinned. My 2 boys have a way of appearing like a whole lot of kids, it's true. "Send 'em up!" says me. "You got it" says security...like he couldn't get them out of the lobby quick enough.
heh heh heh...that's ma boys...
They burst through the door a few minutes later and in no time we were at the table (yeah..that would be the bad boy I assembled last week) eating dinner. I am always surprised with how much boys can put away, and was impressed with the pile of shiny bones on Red's plate...his little face a big smear of rib sauce. Saminator, however, wasn't feeling well...diarrhea....gggreat.....
Whatevs..they played Wii as I cleaned up and whipped up some banana bread which I put in the oven to bake as I gave them a bath. I am domestic goddess today. Boys had chocolate bath, pedicures (what's with the caveman feet...eyuuuuu) and I tucked them into their makeshift beds. It was a nice night and I look forward to tomorrow :)
Inspired by Trophy Husbands singing with Sontoo, I'm leaving you with a link to my favourite video recording. I'm singing "When I Think About Cheating" which is a really redneck country kind of tune...and Red participated. Watch to the end for the cutest part...I apologize for the misery you have to endure to get there....
LilVic's version of "When I Think About Cheating" by Gretchin Wilson
This weekend, they are skipping Saturday hockey practice to stay here in Toronto with me. Sunday, we'll boogy out of here by 6:30AM to get to Sam's hockey game...but tonight, and tomorrow..we be chillin'....
At 6:30pm (late as shit motha fucka!) security called up "hi Vicki, there are a whole lot of kids here to see you!" I grinned. My 2 boys have a way of appearing like a whole lot of kids, it's true. "Send 'em up!" says me. "You got it" says security...like he couldn't get them out of the lobby quick enough.
heh heh heh...that's ma boys...
They burst through the door a few minutes later and in no time we were at the table (yeah..that would be the bad boy I assembled last week) eating dinner. I am always surprised with how much boys can put away, and was impressed with the pile of shiny bones on Red's plate...his little face a big smear of rib sauce. Saminator, however, wasn't feeling well...diarrhea....gggreat.....
Whatevs..they played Wii as I cleaned up and whipped up some banana bread which I put in the oven to bake as I gave them a bath. I am domestic goddess today. Boys had chocolate bath, pedicures (what's with the caveman feet...eyuuuuu) and I tucked them into their makeshift beds. It was a nice night and I look forward to tomorrow :)
Inspired by Trophy Husbands singing with Sontoo, I'm leaving you with a link to my favourite video recording. I'm singing "When I Think About Cheating" which is a really redneck country kind of tune...and Red participated. Watch to the end for the cutest part...I apologize for the misery you have to endure to get there....
LilVic's version of "When I Think About Cheating" by Gretchin Wilson
Wednesday, February 10, 2010
The New Role
This is what I love about my job....it's always changing :)
Basically, I'm a piping estimator. Recently it was pointed out to me, by a guy, this doesn't sound very...uhmmmm...ladylike.
Sigh...
So just to clarify...I'm not looking at crotches and feet and guessing who's hung to where... I look at drawings of mechanical systems - gas lines, water lines...pipe..I measure the lengths, count the fittings..consider the job from set up to clean up and take a wild stab at cost. And yeah...I'm used to the jokes, and may have participated in the crude humour once or twice. Hard not to. You try taking off (and that's actually an estimating term, perv) fittings...nipples, male adaptors, female adaptors, plugs, valves...you get the picture. I didn't name the stuff, I just take it off.
See you just can't talk about this shit without grinning.
So that's what I do when I'm not on a jobsite...I go back to head office and estimate PIPE until a new job is ready to go.
Then I go to site.
The gig I'm on is a sweet deal...but truth be told..am bored to tears after a year of document control. Paper shuffling with flare. yawnsville.
BUT...my job is changing.
Sometimes it's a good thing having 2 speeds...and so when I go... I git r dun..and now all the submittals and RFI's are up to date..the asbuilts are complete to date..and apparently that's not a normal thing. So I've either completely fucked everything up (which would take a frontal lobotamy...possible, considering the amount of time I've been drunk since on this job)...or the other individuals who've done this job in the past are maybe a smidgeon slow.... Either way, and who cares anyway...I'm sitting here with next to nothing to do. Not a good plan. I tend to get up to no good when I have nothing to keep me otherwise occupied. The bad side of having 2 speeds.
So I'm begging for work and the Project Manager has passed me RFQ's and odd things. Done and Done.
****yawn*****
Low and behold...one the mechanical coordinators is moving on to greener pastures..and I have new responsibility.
Tracking pipe.
Go ahead and giggle...
This means I'm going out into the field and tracking the work as it's completed. Very cool.
But it's cold outside. -5 plus wind factor...brrrrrr.... The kind of cold that Cupcake and Clan would consider T-shirt weather, but for those of us here in the Canayjun Suhth...it's fucking miserable cold.
So yesterday I went to Mark's Work Warehouse and bought some woolies. :) I like my new socks the best.
And soon, I'll be headed out into the field...trudging through mud, over ice...into the plant, out of the plant... Maybe I should leave a bread trail. Meh...
So at this point, I'm going to ask you to stay tuned as I put you on pause....and I'll return with story of my first Pipe Tracking Adventure.....
*********************************************************************************
......skidding into room in socked feet.....clad fashionably in long underwear and sporting most disheveled ponytail worn to date..... I'm baaack!!! Oh don't panic...I'm not at work looking like this, I'm at home! Sheesh!
So....
Did you miss me?
Thought so!
Went on fantastic walk of job site! Jolly Giant is the man who's leaving behind this little piece of heaven in search of greener pastures (as if!)...and twas he who is showing me the ropes...or, in this case, the pipes.
Jolly Giant really is a giant of a man. The safety melon always adds a couple of inches, and with us all bundled in warm winter outerwear, we all appear slightly Michelin Man...but this man towers above me. I am certain in fact, that if he so chose, he could place one meat-hook on my head and just pick me up. Jolly Giant is as it implies however..he's a lovely happy Giant originally from the UK...not far from where me mum growed up.
I tucked my jeans into my fabulous new socks and laced up my winter work boots (as opposed to the summer ones which have no lining). My winter boots have been worn exactly once since I bought them 2 years ago, so gifted am I at avoiding cold weather walks..till now... I zipped up my coat, threw on the charming fluorescent orange dickie, my winter hat under my hard hat...safety goggles and gloves.
I knew for the first time exactly how my poor children felt stuffed into their snow suits so fat their arms no longer touch their sides....meh....
Off we trudged through the couple centimeters of snow that barely covered the mud. Jolly Giant pointed out the spools of pipe installed and the corresponding ISO's, marked off showing progress. I tried to ignore the men on site that actually stopped work to stare. Barfaroni. Jolly Giant thought it amusing.
We made our way across makeshift bridges and down temporary ladders...carefully maneuvered down sloped and winding little pathways. Jolly Giant slipped and tripped enough to let me know that he was not a good choice for balance or support should I lose my footing. Graceful lad he is. We were making our way towards a good vantage point for one of the systems as one of the three overhead cranes began to move. (Here's a picture of the job site to help you visualize this paradise we call home away from home).
The civil sub was pouring concrete through a hose that was rigged to the crane, so as to reach the high point of the formed column. As the crane swung around, bits of concrete splattered all over the ground, so close to Jolly Giant and I that even my face was sprayed. Attractive. When the coast was clear, Jolly Giant grabbed my shoulder with one oversized mitt and tucked me under his arm (I mean literally..my head was under his arm) then yanked me up a little hill so he could show me the pipe system we were tracking...then we continued our journey.
Dudes I saw pipe I could walk inside of and would have to stretch to be able to touch the top. Way kewl!! Remember Tim from Home Improvements? Aaahhhhhhrrrrrr? ooooohhhhrrrrr.... uhrrrrr uhrrrrrr uhrrrrrr
Y'all did that out loud didn't you? heh heh heh
I have a lot of prep work to do yet...I've walked the job, seen the systems (knowing I won't remember diddly shit), now I need to go back and match the ISO's to the plans and walk the walk again. I'll get it though...no worries.
That right there's some fun stuff lemme tell yeh...
And once again I count my blessings...this is a sweet gig...I am in the best business!!
I dooo luv ma job!
Basically, I'm a piping estimator. Recently it was pointed out to me, by a guy, this doesn't sound very...uhmmmm...ladylike.
Sigh...
So just to clarify...I'm not looking at crotches and feet and guessing who's hung to where... I look at drawings of mechanical systems - gas lines, water lines...pipe..I measure the lengths, count the fittings..consider the job from set up to clean up and take a wild stab at cost. And yeah...I'm used to the jokes, and may have participated in the crude humour once or twice. Hard not to. You try taking off (and that's actually an estimating term, perv) fittings...nipples, male adaptors, female adaptors, plugs, valves...you get the picture. I didn't name the stuff, I just take it off.
See you just can't talk about this shit without grinning.
So that's what I do when I'm not on a jobsite...I go back to head office and estimate PIPE until a new job is ready to go.
Then I go to site.
The gig I'm on is a sweet deal...but truth be told..am bored to tears after a year of document control. Paper shuffling with flare. yawnsville.
BUT...my job is changing.
Sometimes it's a good thing having 2 speeds...and so when I go... I git r dun..and now all the submittals and RFI's are up to date..the asbuilts are complete to date..and apparently that's not a normal thing. So I've either completely fucked everything up (which would take a frontal lobotamy...possible, considering the amount of time I've been drunk since on this job)...or the other individuals who've done this job in the past are maybe a smidgeon slow.... Either way, and who cares anyway...I'm sitting here with next to nothing to do. Not a good plan. I tend to get up to no good when I have nothing to keep me otherwise occupied. The bad side of having 2 speeds.
So I'm begging for work and the Project Manager has passed me RFQ's and odd things. Done and Done.
****yawn*****
Low and behold...one the mechanical coordinators is moving on to greener pastures..and I have new responsibility.
Tracking pipe.
Go ahead and giggle...
This means I'm going out into the field and tracking the work as it's completed. Very cool.
But it's cold outside. -5 plus wind factor...brrrrrr.... The kind of cold that Cupcake and Clan would consider T-shirt weather, but for those of us here in the Canayjun Suhth...it's fucking miserable cold.
So yesterday I went to Mark's Work Warehouse and bought some woolies. :) I like my new socks the best.
And soon, I'll be headed out into the field...trudging through mud, over ice...into the plant, out of the plant... Maybe I should leave a bread trail. Meh...
So at this point, I'm going to ask you to stay tuned as I put you on pause....and I'll return with story of my first Pipe Tracking Adventure.....
*********************************************************************************
......skidding into room in socked feet.....clad fashionably in long underwear and sporting most disheveled ponytail worn to date..... I'm baaack!!! Oh don't panic...I'm not at work looking like this, I'm at home! Sheesh!
So....
Did you miss me?
Thought so!
Went on fantastic walk of job site! Jolly Giant is the man who's leaving behind this little piece of heaven in search of greener pastures (as if!)...and twas he who is showing me the ropes...or, in this case, the pipes.
Jolly Giant really is a giant of a man. The safety melon always adds a couple of inches, and with us all bundled in warm winter outerwear, we all appear slightly Michelin Man...but this man towers above me. I am certain in fact, that if he so chose, he could place one meat-hook on my head and just pick me up. Jolly Giant is as it implies however..he's a lovely happy Giant originally from the UK...not far from where me mum growed up.
I tucked my jeans into my fabulous new socks and laced up my winter work boots (as opposed to the summer ones which have no lining). My winter boots have been worn exactly once since I bought them 2 years ago, so gifted am I at avoiding cold weather walks..till now... I zipped up my coat, threw on the charming fluorescent orange dickie, my winter hat under my hard hat...safety goggles and gloves.
I knew for the first time exactly how my poor children felt stuffed into their snow suits so fat their arms no longer touch their sides....meh....
Off we trudged through the couple centimeters of snow that barely covered the mud. Jolly Giant pointed out the spools of pipe installed and the corresponding ISO's, marked off showing progress. I tried to ignore the men on site that actually stopped work to stare. Barfaroni. Jolly Giant thought it amusing.
We made our way across makeshift bridges and down temporary ladders...carefully maneuvered down sloped and winding little pathways. Jolly Giant slipped and tripped enough to let me know that he was not a good choice for balance or support should I lose my footing. Graceful lad he is. We were making our way towards a good vantage point for one of the systems as one of the three overhead cranes began to move. (Here's a picture of the job site to help you visualize this paradise we call home away from home).
The civil sub was pouring concrete through a hose that was rigged to the crane, so as to reach the high point of the formed column. As the crane swung around, bits of concrete splattered all over the ground, so close to Jolly Giant and I that even my face was sprayed. Attractive. When the coast was clear, Jolly Giant grabbed my shoulder with one oversized mitt and tucked me under his arm (I mean literally..my head was under his arm) then yanked me up a little hill so he could show me the pipe system we were tracking...then we continued our journey.
Dudes I saw pipe I could walk inside of and would have to stretch to be able to touch the top. Way kewl!! Remember Tim from Home Improvements? Aaahhhhhhrrrrrr? ooooohhhhrrrrr.... uhrrrrr uhrrrrrr uhrrrrrr
Y'all did that out loud didn't you? heh heh heh
I have a lot of prep work to do yet...I've walked the job, seen the systems (knowing I won't remember diddly shit), now I need to go back and match the ISO's to the plans and walk the walk again. I'll get it though...no worries.
That right there's some fun stuff lemme tell yeh...
And once again I count my blessings...this is a sweet gig...I am in the best business!!
I dooo luv ma job!
Thursday, February 4, 2010
I Have a Theory for That
It's 12:32 AM and I am awake. Wide awake. Fucking brilliant how you can wake up after 3 hours of sleep, alert and brimming with the solutions to all of the non consequential problems in your life.
It’s a gift.
I’ve figured out what I’ll wear to work tomorrow, and that I’d like to wear something else to go shopping with The Tall One after work. I suspect he’ll be wearing track pants, and so I’ve decided that either before or after we pick up his new phone, he’ll be getting a new outfit that he must wear before going to dinner. We’ll be going to McVeigh’s, so that I might have a covert final appraisal of Bartender Jimmy and report back to you all on whether or not Habibi continues to hold title of Best Bartender in Toronto. I really should come up with criteria for said position.
Later.
That there is some important stuff ya know.
Have a theory for hunger am currently fighting...forgot to have dinner. Had coffee before salon visit and wine after. Meh...
Yesterday Ehshay came into work three feet off the ground (as usual) with story about his drive in.
Yes, I just switched gears a little...need a minute?
Ready?
Ehshay came into work and started telling us about the rubberneckers that caused his frustration. Young St. Louis gave him a WTF in reference to ‘rubbernecker’.
Eyshay gave the WTF pose and looked at me. I shrugged.
It’s a construction site...occasionally we grunt too.
“Do you know what a rubbernecker is?” he asks me...eyebrows raised, eyes bugged out...
“uh...yeah” I start...
and Young J and Work Sista both echo St. Louis’ WTF... laughing and add-libbing theoretical definitions for the term.
Trust me...Eyshay is not one to walk away. He’s like a little bulldog now...he’s got em right where he wants em...
Seeing where this is headed I explain that a rubbernecker is someone that slows down or stops to look at an accident on the highway.
Ehshay very clearly vocalizes his surprise and utter dismay that no one knew that.
Uh...hello...I knew that..dorkuss....
And I had a theory.
See now you had to know I’d eventually get back to my topic, right?
The theory was that it was a generational thing...under 30 didn’t use the term. St. Louis, Young J and Work Sista are all under 30, while Ehshay and I are both over 30.
By the look on the very animated Ehshay’s face, it was game on.
As a couple more people filed in, we asked them if they knew what a rubbernecker was. Big J, over 30 knew the correct answer...as did the other 2 over 30’s on site. Under 30 year old Metroman did not.
I was wiiiiinning :)
Ehshay, determined not to go down without a fight decided that Mcmikey, extremely intelligent under 30 year old, Ehshay’s Golden Boy Himself....would know the answer, proving me wrong.
He wasn’t in yet.
Late in the afternoon, I came close to losing this fierce battle when Bobbielove, under 30, calmly defined rubbernecker to us. But he turns 30 in a couple of months...so I held on....
Finally, Mcmikey arrived.
Surrounded by the entire team, all in on the quiet war raging between Ehshay and I, Ehshay asked the unsuspecting Golden Boy if he knew the answer to the question.
“Do you know what a rubbernecker is?”
“Of course I do” says Mcmikey.
Ehshay celebrates, doing his own little jig...
My lil bro, Young J, needs to make sure though...
“What do you think it is?” he asks the somewhat bewildered Mcmikey, who is clearly in a hurry to get some work done, or something as equally trivial.
“Well, it’s like making out or something..” he starts.
And as the entire trailer bursts out laughing it’s MY turn to raise my arms and shout “I WIN!” as the mighty Ehshay hangs his head in defeat.
And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how we roll...
Now go to sleep...some of us have to work in the morning.
Wednesday, February 3, 2010
And So Delirium Begins
To be expected considering I woke up at 3:00AM this morning. On the nose.
I have no idea why. The condo was dead quiet. Maybe that was the problem…no crazy old men warning all of Toronto about the approaching end of the world from the street below…no transports, no beeping…no rowdy drunks. Not even the usual steady hum of the wind blowing against the windows.
Nadda
How the hell is anyone supposed to sleep like that?
Around 4:30AM I gave up the fight to fall back to sleep and got up.
This is how a mildly rehtarded chick functions when she sees the front end of the wee hours as opposed to the back end…
I made my bed in the dark….turned on lamp…put load of laundry in…washed face…examined face…decided on mud mask…applied said mud mask…went to kitchen…filled kettle with water and plugged in…poured bowl of Special K…filled sink with hot water and Mr. Clean (Febreeze vanilla lavender scent..lovely) and wiped off counters, sink, stove…curse at own melonheadness…turned ON kettle…drained sink, rinsed cloth, got out tea cup and tea…check face in mirrors, grimace at ugly green woman looking back…pour milk in cereal and eat…pour boiled water in mug and add milk…bowl and spoon in dishwasher..off to bathroom…remove mask…sip tea.
And then my 5AM alarm hollered at me from beside my bed. Normally I have a half hour of snoozing before I get up. Sigh
Somehow the extra hour didn’t help me get out of the condo any earlier. And the full view of my hair provided by the surrounding mirrors in the elevator proved that no amount of time will fix permanent bed head.
It’s been a long day. And it’s only 1:20.
So yesterday Work Sista and I were wickedly nutritious…going to the nearest Metro to pick up freshly made salads for lunch. In fact..I was damned good all day…peanut butter and toast for breaky…salad for lunch…and errr…okay, 2 Crown and Sprite and 4 chocolates for dinner..well hells bells that’s brilliant for me!
On the way back from the Metro, we drove by a Foonie Store. Yes that's right FOONIE, with an 'F'.
Gawd help me, says you, what is the woman on about now?
Well lemme explain.
They used to be Dollar Stores. You could tell by the big ole green symbol of a coin with a 1 in the middle. Then came the Toonie stores…with the green coin symbol that had a 2 in the middle. Now there are Foonie stores. Which is what I suspect we slightly challenged Canadians would call a $5 coin if we had one…and according to the big ass green symbol of a coin with the 5 in the middle that proudly glowed from the store front …
You can’t make this shit up. People are morons…yawn….
What the bloody hell was I talking about…
Oh yeah…today’s diet, compared to yesterday’s diet. Which even by MY standards was bad.
I had that Special K at 4:30AM, a sausage and egg muffin thing from the garbage truck at 7:30, a donut at 9…another donut at 11.
And I’m not hungry. Just trying to stay afreakinwake.
I had the rest of my salad for lunch. And some Wheat Thins. And a Fuze. Which by the way is an awesome vitamin drink with only 15 calories. People like me are so careful about what they drink you know.
Meh
So it’s 1:30 and I have (yes, am counting on my fingers) 3 and a half hours to go before I have to find my way home. Gawd help any stupid pedestrians that attempt to cross the street in front of me when I get the advanced left turn onto Wellington.
Hey…try driving right up to those arsepicks and laying on the horn when they do that. They jump straight up in the air…fun times!
And I have a date tonight. A real one. Not just a ‘let’s meet for a drink’..but an actual dinner.
Poor guy.
By that time, I should be over-tired.
Yeah…just let that sink in for a minute….
Alone with me, when I’m overtired.
MUAHAHAHAAAA
Oh yeah...lack of sleep, nutrition and exercise.
New Year's resolution my ass....pffft....woosies.
I have no idea why. The condo was dead quiet. Maybe that was the problem…no crazy old men warning all of Toronto about the approaching end of the world from the street below…no transports, no beeping…no rowdy drunks. Not even the usual steady hum of the wind blowing against the windows.
Nadda
How the hell is anyone supposed to sleep like that?
Around 4:30AM I gave up the fight to fall back to sleep and got up.
This is how a mildly rehtarded chick functions when she sees the front end of the wee hours as opposed to the back end…
I made my bed in the dark….turned on lamp…put load of laundry in…washed face…examined face…decided on mud mask…applied said mud mask…went to kitchen…filled kettle with water and plugged in…poured bowl of Special K…filled sink with hot water and Mr. Clean (Febreeze vanilla lavender scent..lovely) and wiped off counters, sink, stove…curse at own melonheadness…turned ON kettle…drained sink, rinsed cloth, got out tea cup and tea…check face in mirrors, grimace at ugly green woman looking back…pour milk in cereal and eat…pour boiled water in mug and add milk…bowl and spoon in dishwasher..off to bathroom…remove mask…sip tea.
And then my 5AM alarm hollered at me from beside my bed. Normally I have a half hour of snoozing before I get up. Sigh
Somehow the extra hour didn’t help me get out of the condo any earlier. And the full view of my hair provided by the surrounding mirrors in the elevator proved that no amount of time will fix permanent bed head.
It’s been a long day. And it’s only 1:20.
So yesterday Work Sista and I were wickedly nutritious…going to the nearest Metro to pick up freshly made salads for lunch. In fact..I was damned good all day…peanut butter and toast for breaky…salad for lunch…and errr…okay, 2 Crown and Sprite and 4 chocolates for dinner..well hells bells that’s brilliant for me!
On the way back from the Metro, we drove by a Foonie Store. Yes that's right FOONIE, with an 'F'.
Gawd help me, says you, what is the woman on about now?
Well lemme explain.
They used to be Dollar Stores. You could tell by the big ole green symbol of a coin with a 1 in the middle. Then came the Toonie stores…with the green coin symbol that had a 2 in the middle. Now there are Foonie stores. Which is what I suspect we slightly challenged Canadians would call a $5 coin if we had one…and according to the big ass green symbol of a coin with the 5 in the middle that proudly glowed from the store front …
You can’t make this shit up. People are morons…yawn….
What the bloody hell was I talking about…
Oh yeah…today’s diet, compared to yesterday’s diet. Which even by MY standards was bad.
I had that Special K at 4:30AM, a sausage and egg muffin thing from the garbage truck at 7:30, a donut at 9…another donut at 11.
And I’m not hungry. Just trying to stay afreakinwake.
I had the rest of my salad for lunch. And some Wheat Thins. And a Fuze. Which by the way is an awesome vitamin drink with only 15 calories. People like me are so careful about what they drink you know.
Meh
So it’s 1:30 and I have (yes, am counting on my fingers) 3 and a half hours to go before I have to find my way home. Gawd help any stupid pedestrians that attempt to cross the street in front of me when I get the advanced left turn onto Wellington.
Hey…try driving right up to those arsepicks and laying on the horn when they do that. They jump straight up in the air…fun times!
And I have a date tonight. A real one. Not just a ‘let’s meet for a drink’..but an actual dinner.
Poor guy.
By that time, I should be over-tired.
Yeah…just let that sink in for a minute….
Alone with me, when I’m overtired.
MUAHAHAHAAAA
Oh yeah...lack of sleep, nutrition and exercise.
New Year's resolution my ass....pffft....woosies.
Tuesday, February 2, 2010
Someone Call Alberici's Great Hunter
The site warehouse is located around the corner from the jobsite. The supervisor came into work a couple of mornings and frowned at the unwound paper towel roll that lay across the kitchen counter. He noticed items on his desk had been knocked about a bit. Then he saw the droppings..and knew there was a problem.
The Great Hunter heard of this infiltration and came quickly.
Nose to the ground he discovered the rodent's lair .. simultaneously solving the mystery of the unwound paper towel roll. The beast had made a cozy home under the fridge..complete with papertowel insulation.
Enlisting the aid of one of the 4 fellow burly construction workers that observed the hunt, The Great Hunter had the fridge tipped up, while he began to pull out the paper towels that were stuffed underneath. The furry rodent lay just beyond... The Great Hunter grabbed the long serrated bread knife that lay on the counter beside him, and as the rat made a break from his hideaway, the Hunter quickly struck, whacking the beast across the back with the blade of the knife.
But the beast lived...darting across the room...straight for 2 brave construction labourers that screamed like little girls and leaped out of the way. With the agility of a ninja warrior, the young brother of the Great Hunter twisted, completed a backflip, and landed crouched on top of a nearby desk. The others danced and giggled, releasing the nervous fear that raced up their spineless backs.
According to legend, the rat was 8 inches long, nose to rear...a hideous, monstrous rodent by any standard.
Leaving a trail of blood splatter, the evil furball found refuge within the plotter.
Over the next few days, the Great Hunter waited, unable to penetrate the steel walls that protected the beast.
But the beast tricked the Great Hunter. It had returned to it's lair through the night.
With his finely honed instincts, the hunter tracked the sneaky beast back to it's nest....this time reaching inside and grabbing the rodent with his gloved hands. With one victorious twist, he snapped the neck of the spawn of hell, ending the terror that plagued the warehouse.
But it has begun again.
This time...one of the little bastards is near me. Under the fridge. Growing. Feeding. Pooping.
And freaking me out!!!
Will someone call the Great Hunter...and this time, don't take 3 days to kill the thing!!! I don't care if you have to stay up all night long with your little night vision goggles on...make that thing go away!!!!
EEEEEYYYYUUUUUUUUU!!!! YUCK YUCK YUCK YUCK!!!!
The Great Hunter heard of this infiltration and came quickly.
Nose to the ground he discovered the rodent's lair .. simultaneously solving the mystery of the unwound paper towel roll. The beast had made a cozy home under the fridge..complete with papertowel insulation.
Enlisting the aid of one of the 4 fellow burly construction workers that observed the hunt, The Great Hunter had the fridge tipped up, while he began to pull out the paper towels that were stuffed underneath. The furry rodent lay just beyond... The Great Hunter grabbed the long serrated bread knife that lay on the counter beside him, and as the rat made a break from his hideaway, the Hunter quickly struck, whacking the beast across the back with the blade of the knife.
But the beast lived...darting across the room...straight for 2 brave construction labourers that screamed like little girls and leaped out of the way. With the agility of a ninja warrior, the young brother of the Great Hunter twisted, completed a backflip, and landed crouched on top of a nearby desk. The others danced and giggled, releasing the nervous fear that raced up their spineless backs.
According to legend, the rat was 8 inches long, nose to rear...a hideous, monstrous rodent by any standard.
Leaving a trail of blood splatter, the evil furball found refuge within the plotter.
Over the next few days, the Great Hunter waited, unable to penetrate the steel walls that protected the beast.
But the beast tricked the Great Hunter. It had returned to it's lair through the night.
With his finely honed instincts, the hunter tracked the sneaky beast back to it's nest....this time reaching inside and grabbing the rodent with his gloved hands. With one victorious twist, he snapped the neck of the spawn of hell, ending the terror that plagued the warehouse.
But it has begun again.
This time...one of the little bastards is near me. Under the fridge. Growing. Feeding. Pooping.
And freaking me out!!!
Will someone call the Great Hunter...and this time, don't take 3 days to kill the thing!!! I don't care if you have to stay up all night long with your little night vision goggles on...make that thing go away!!!!
EEEEEYYYYUUUUUUUUU!!!! YUCK YUCK YUCK YUCK!!!!
Monday, February 1, 2010
Waa Happun?
So here sits me..reflecting on this weekend gone...
When we last talked, I was sitting on the couch, drink in hand, staring at the pieces of my new dining room table that awaited assembly. Remember?
The drink was good...and another followed... I think there was a load of laundry in there, and I half tasted a bowl of ice cream for dinner. Don't judge, Smirnoff and ice cream is a perfectly good dinner.
Soon enough my gurlz arrived.
:)
And more drinks were poured. We briefly considered assembling my table, but decided that McVeighs would be more fun..and off we went.
I don't remember exact details of the evening, other than it was freaking fun!! I confirmed the drunk dials this morning..which were actually drunk texts and only to young Peter here at work...pretty good for me :) I recall our Meg sitting on a barstool giggling, surrounded by men with charming accents... You go girlfriend! Becks and I were concentrating on tequila and a group of 90 year olds that returned from a Robbie Burns dinner..all decked out in bowties...handsome devils they were.
Somehow we made it home and I recall waking to a thundering headache. Will have to speak with that Jimmy about pouring me bad vodka. And the next time I ask for tequila, the correct answer is NO.
The following day, I did make it back home to visit the boys...my girl..and even my parents. Going to visit my father while fighting a hangover is not a good plan by the way. Or maybe it is...not sure. We survived.
Sunday was hockey followed by trip back to Toronto..where my clothes fell off in a trail to my bed where I stayed for a good couple of hours. And woke with a sore throat. Which sucks.
The table you ask? Oh I put that bad boy together last night..and it looks gorgeous!!!
Being stubborn isn't always a bad thing. See?
I slept like hell last night and this morning, stumbled into work with bed head, sore throat and foggy brain.
I think it might not be a ten hour day today...just sayin...
**yawn**
When we last talked, I was sitting on the couch, drink in hand, staring at the pieces of my new dining room table that awaited assembly. Remember?
The drink was good...and another followed... I think there was a load of laundry in there, and I half tasted a bowl of ice cream for dinner. Don't judge, Smirnoff and ice cream is a perfectly good dinner.
Soon enough my gurlz arrived.
:)
And more drinks were poured. We briefly considered assembling my table, but decided that McVeighs would be more fun..and off we went.
I don't remember exact details of the evening, other than it was freaking fun!! I confirmed the drunk dials this morning..which were actually drunk texts and only to young Peter here at work...pretty good for me :) I recall our Meg sitting on a barstool giggling, surrounded by men with charming accents... You go girlfriend! Becks and I were concentrating on tequila and a group of 90 year olds that returned from a Robbie Burns dinner..all decked out in bowties...handsome devils they were.
Somehow we made it home and I recall waking to a thundering headache. Will have to speak with that Jimmy about pouring me bad vodka. And the next time I ask for tequila, the correct answer is NO.
The following day, I did make it back home to visit the boys...my girl..and even my parents. Going to visit my father while fighting a hangover is not a good plan by the way. Or maybe it is...not sure. We survived.
Sunday was hockey followed by trip back to Toronto..where my clothes fell off in a trail to my bed where I stayed for a good couple of hours. And woke with a sore throat. Which sucks.
The table you ask? Oh I put that bad boy together last night..and it looks gorgeous!!!
Being stubborn isn't always a bad thing. See?
I slept like hell last night and this morning, stumbled into work with bed head, sore throat and foggy brain.
I think it might not be a ten hour day today...just sayin...
**yawn**
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