Danger Is My Middle Name

I stand a towering 5'4".  I weigh in at a staggering (eff you ain't telling).

Raised in the the rough side of .. um... Hicksville ...  my street senses are finely tuned.

Okay, I'm full of crap.

I'm not very big, and my personality is very, very small town.

I smile a lot, talk to everyone and get laughed at when I'm actually angry.

In the words of Katie from Horton Hears a Who ... "In my world everyone is a pony, and they all eat rainbows, and poop butterflies."



But I had a moment. 

Once.

It was a sunshine filled morning and I was driving the long stretch of country road between my house in Bealton and my folks' place in Hagersville.

Ordinary enough.

I had been talking on my cell phone and lowered it casually when I saw the police cruiser approaching from the opposite direction.  I glanced in my rear view mirror, and saw him turn around to come back and follow me.

Crud.

I put my cell phone in my purse, check my speed, and put on my most innocent, angelic face.

He followed me into town.  And put the cherries on.

Summanabitch he HAD to wait until I was in town where people I knew would see.....

He was in his late 40's and approached my window from a distance.  I rolled it down, and grinned my 'yes officer, thanks for the friendly visit' grin.

"Where you going?"  Says he.

"My parent's house in town here" I point.

"Where you coming from?"

"My house in Bealton" pointing a thumb behind me.

He talks into his radio, and 2 cruisers pull up across the street, and a third cruiser pulls in behind him.

"Um....what are we doing here" I ask, fighting back a giggle.

"You are driving a vehicle matching the description of a vehicle seen leaving the scene of a crime.  A lone woman in a grey vehicle, suspected carrying arms"

"Really?"  I said "How exciting!!!"

I clapped my hands together and laughed.

He laughed when he said "I don't think it's you, but we have to go through the motions to be sure.  Do you mind if we search your vehicle?"

I looked over at the young officer who stood outside my passenger side...canine unit.

"Wow, really?"  I laughed..."sure!  Geez, I didn't know I was so scary!!!"

He sighed and shrugged and blushed a little...

As the canine unit officer poked around my back seat I said "boy am I ever glad I just had the car detailed!"

I giggled. 

He didn't.

Plththtth

They wrapped up their big search of the mom mobile...car seats and all...and the original officer apologized and thanked me.

"No worries, it was going to be a dull day!  Glad to have a little excitement!"

I laughed all the way to my parents' house.

After all...YOU may think I don't look like much....

......but I AM danger!!!

Four cruisers to handle me....be afraid!!!!